bruchovelky (bruchovelky) wrote in strgaybearchubs,
bruchovelky
bruchovelky
strgaybearchubs

The year's end,

what I'm thankful for and what I'd like to change for 2009...

I'm thankful for...

- life and living in general, I'm getting older and my appreciation for waking up each day gets stronger the older I get
- demonstrations of love from people I care about and my ability to love back equally if not more. It's such a great feeling!
- being able to love someone unconditionally
- for my parents who are no longer on this earth, they taught me so many things that when I was young I thought would never matter...Well they DO and I'm grateful to them for guiding me in the right direction while I was growing up.
- microfiber blankets! OMG They're so soft it's like touching air. And it's a great thing to have fun on naked with someone. hehe
- music...for without it my life would be empty and boring. People who turn me on to new artists and styles of music are like gold to me. I'm always down for something new!
- being able to share my life with someone I love very much for however long it lasts. I try to enjoy each day with him and tell him how much I love and appreciate him because you never know what could happen. Say "I love you." to someone you care about today and let them know how much they mean to you.
- a drama free life because I choose not to get caught up in the "gay" condition. I AM UNIQUE.
- Lindemans fruit lambic because it tastes soooooo good.

Some things I'd like to change for the new year...

- where I live. I need to get out of Cleveland and this is the year it's going to happen. I'm thinking about moving to Arizona or North Carolina. Some place where the winters are not cold and harsh like they are here. I've had enough of that.
- learn to deal with my feelings better. (something ALL of us should strive for) I have recently stopped communication with my best friend of 20 years because of his drug addiction and have realized that I am having a hard time with that. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting and think I'll try this for awhile because I think it will help me to deal with him and also deal with myself because I can be really hard on myself alot of the time. I need some new skills ya know what I mean? :o)
- make an effort to go back to school and learn something new. I have always had the skills to make it through life and enjoy the work I was doing but I want to learn something new and change my career this year. I am thinking about IT or something in the medical field.
-be more comfortable with me. I'm pretty happy with who and what I am and I do love myself but I think I need to learn how to make mySELF happy more instead of looking for happiness from others or doing things FOR others just to make me happy. I'm not a selfish person but sometimes I think more of the other person than I do of myself and that needs to stop.
- realize that there are tons of new friends out there to be had and make an effort to find them. My circle of friends has been depleted quite a bit since I decided to eliminate all of my friends who are heavy drug users. I feel alone sometimes because most of these friends I've had for 15 to 20 years give or take a few. They're not bad people they just have addictions that I can't be a part of anymore.
- make a conscious effort to watch what I'm eating at what times and how much. I'm happy with being a big guy but I need to make some changes in my eating habits because I realized I feel better when I eat healthier. More energy, less tired, you know.

So yeah, rather than use the word "resolution" I just prefer to list things that I want to change. Regardless if I do everything on this list or not at least I acknowledged it and that is the first process in making changes. I have an amazing guy in my life right beside me who supports me in whatever I do so making the effort to do these things may be just a little easier with him around. Thanks for being here with me herbe.

I'd really like to hear from some of you who read this and hear about the things you've been thankful for this past year and something you'd like to change in the next year.

New Years hugs 4 all!
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